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Conversation Between Souls

I got another poem from Anna this week. (You can see her last poem in this post.) It’s rather long, but worth reading. The very first time I met Anna, she brought me a little black book filled with her poems. I was surprised that she was willing to share– she didn’t even know me. The book was filled with all kinds of thoughts and memories scribbled down at night when she can hardly sleep because they haunt her. I took in each poem one at a time, gasping for air in that way that happens when you’re trying not to cry. The range and color of her emotions were astounding. I wanted to sob, but I looked her in the eyes, smiled, and said “These are lovely.”


One in particular stayed with me months after I read it. Anna really struggles with faith. Years of abuse that have led her to question the existence of a loving God at times, and to affirm his existence but detest him at others. We talked about it many times in the weeks we spent together afterward. This poem gives me hope that someday she will see. I pray for her often.


Conversation Between Souls

Am I the one to be stoned?
When you created me,
To always ask for more.
Too much pain to become sore.
A heart only to be torn.
The tears left in the floor.
What’s the meaning,
Says the whore.

The cold settles in.
He says,
I’ll be here even after the end.
Only, she knows better than to pretend.

Thinking of all those times,
He left her alone to fight.
Knowing, she would always,
Lose to that night.
He didn’t make her strong enough,
To make it alright.
She goes pale.
Only to say,
Where was your hand then?
I have to be my only friend.
I am the forsaken one.

He replies,
My love will never die.
I was there during all those times,
When trust was so hard to find.
I was the one,
Who cried as you cried.


She’s agitated by his response.
No understanding,
Of why she was always chosen.
She screams,
You were only left to watch.
How creepy is that!
You couldn’t pull me out from under.
Or at least warn me that there would be others.
You never bothered to care.
You always left me there,
To always pick up the pieces one by one.
To always know,
That there would be another one.
Never to be prepared.
Always left to be scared.
Never to be spared.
Now you want to act,
As if your hand was there.
When I was the one,
Always left to care.

His face becomes a somber.
As he says,
Don’t you remember?
I helped you more than you’re aware.
Every time you faced that harm,
I quieted the alarm.
You faced it way more than once.
But know, it was never your fault.
I helped you keep,
Love and trust from that vault.
I helped you move on,
In spite of it all.
Every time they knocked you down,
It was I,
Telling you to get up now.

She cries,
Why didn’t you just let me die?
(Preferably that very first time.)
Why couldn’t you just take me?
Instead you let them continue to have me.
Was I not deserving of your mercy?

He reaches out his arms,
Yet she pushes him away.
He asks,
Why must you push me away?
When all I do,
Is wish you not to stray.
She responds,
I’m just an ally cat,
Who knows no home.
You left me in that cold.
Now you want me to seek gold.
When that story
Could never be told.


Light encircles him,
As he replies.
My child you learn much.
But your heart,
Keeps you with a crutch.
Let go, believe you were made from me.
Know that I know
All the secrets that keep you awake.
That story has been told through me.
I will never leave you alone,
To carry the pains.
I never meant you any harm.
I never foreshadowed,
This pain for you to bear.
It is not your shame or mine.
You will heal in time.
For your life is worth more than any rhyme.

He grabs her hand.
Assuring her,
Faith is on our side.
Home is what she’ll find.
As he says,
I made you strong enough,
To always survive.


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